Grace Without Truth Isn't Grace at All
the false dichotomy of truth and grace
What if the language of “grace” has become so elastic in Christian discourse that it no longer means anything at all? Over the past year, I’ve noted a particularly troubling trend amongst those who would consider themselves “liberal-leaning, but otherwise conservative” Christians: to refer to liberal stances on theological questions as “being gracious.”
Defining Grace
What is grace? A simple definition would be “God’s unmerited blessing or favor.” This is not the same as his mercy, which is his not dispensing of justice. We, as sinners and rebels against God, are owed nothing by him but his wrath. In his mercy, he chooses to withhold and, for the elect, spare us from his wrath.
Grace is different. God, in his mercy, is already not giving us what we deserve. Grace occurs when God goes beyond this to give us blessings (upon blessings) that we do not deserve.
A Category Error
Recently, I was in a conversation with one of my “liberal-leaning, but otherwise conservative” friends. We were discussing various denominations and their stances on women’s ordination. (In particular, women being ordained to the pastorate) My friend said something like, “We like X denomination, but we ordain women because we’re a little more gracious than they are.”
Similarly, I had a conversation with a Roman Catholic friend. This friend has worked with the Episcopal Church. One day, they mentioned to me, “I love being Catholic, but I wish we had more grace towards women’s ordination…like the Episcopal Church does.”
I’ve been pondering what those statements mean. Given that they both happened regarding the same subject (women’s ordination), it is curious to me that both friends independently linked WO to grace. Why would this be?
If we adhere to the definition above, stating that WO is gracious would be equivalent to saying something like, “ordaining women is something they are given but do not deserve.” Of course, such a definition is silly. It is not as though men deserve to be ordained. Further, not all men should be ordained. Ordination is a specific calling that God places on the lives of some men.
Ordination isn’t a human gift we dispense to each other; it’s God’s call on specific individuals. When we speak of ‘being gracious’ about ordination, we’ve made a category error—we’re treating a question of divine calling and biblical interpretation as if it were about human generosity. Grace describes God’s action toward us, not our ecclesial policies.
As such, we could say that no one deserves to be ordained; it is a gift that God gives us to facilitate our worship of him. All ordinations are gracious because God is the one who gives the gift of ordination, not us. God, in his grace, calls some to be ordained. By ordaining those God has not called, all we do is increase our disobedience, not our grace. In this particular example, the grace all belongs to God…whether we accept or deny WO is not a matter of (our) graciousness.
My point here is this: whether or not it is Biblically sound to ordain women, it affords us no additional grace to do it. Why then would we say that advocating for WO is more gracious?
I suspect I know what my friends actually mean when they use “gracious” this way. They’re not thinking about technical theological definitions—they want to signal warmth, inclusion, and compassion toward people who feel excluded. These are good impulses! The desire to be welcoming rather than harsh is genuinely Christian.
But here’s why the word choice matters: when “gracious” becomes synonymous with “permissive” or “affirming,” we’ve severed grace from truth entirely. Suddenly, “grace” just means “agreeing with or tolerating progressive positions,” and its biblical meaning dissolves.
Pinpointing the Dichotomy
I think this use of “graciousness” stems from a false dichotomy between grace and truth. A couple of times in the New Testament, the Gospel of John highlights that Christ was full of “grace and truth” (John 1:14, 17). If we want to be like Christ, our goal must be both.
In my evangelical mega church days, I can remember being taught on the “balance” between grace and truth. If you leaned too much towards favoring truth, you were on the road to legalism, but if you leaned too much towards favoring grace, you were flirting with liberalism. It was better to ride the happy medium.
I suppose this is true to a point. However, when Jesus discusses these things, he always puts them together: grace and truth. The concepts are blended more like two sides of a coin rather than two sides of a scale.
Grace and Truth: Two Sides of the Coin
As such, I would suggest that the happy medium between legalism and liberalism is, in fact, grace and truth, but as a package deal. It's not about having more of one than another… it’s about actually having both!
So, I would suggest to my friends who might argue that allowing WO or homosexual marriage or any number of left-wing issues that allowing these things is not being more gracious than those who deny them. Grace must always be wrapped firmly with the truth. Grace may be the soft edges, but truth is the firm center. If something contradicts the truth, allowing it can never be gracious.
While we may continue to debate these issues, let us refrain from couching our positions in terms of being “more truthful” or “more gracious.” Something is either gracious and truthful, or it is neither.
So what does this look like practically?
First, we need to reclaim precision in our language. If we mean “compassionate,” say compassionate. If we mean “inclusive,” say inclusive. But let’s reserve “grace” for what it actually is: unmerited favor. Theological language matters because muddled words lead to muddled thinking.
Second, resist the false choice between truth and love. When we encounter someone advocating for a position we believe contradicts Scripture, our response should embody both truth and grace—not by compromising either, but by speaking with both conviction and kindness. This means we can say, “I believe this contradicts God’s revealed will,” while also saying, “I value you and want to understand your perspective.” Proper debate and growth require the ability to listen to and evaluate positions with which you disagree. If we consider someone a faithful follower of Christ, we can listen to their opinion without agreeing with them.
Third, remember that grace is always God’s to give. We don’t make things more gracious by changing our theology. We participate in God’s grace when we faithfully teach what He has revealed and humbly submit to it—even when cultural pressure pushes in the other direction.
The most loving, gracious thing we can do is help each other conform to Christ, who is Himself “full of grace and truth.” Not grace or truth. Not grace balanced with truth. Grace and truth, inseparably bound.
Where have you seen this linguistic drift in your own circles? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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